Wednesday, June 24, 2015

Why I Cancelled My Hysterectomy

Late March of this year (2015), I was diagnosed with uterus fibroids. I woke up one day passing blood clots the size of golf balls. The bleeding was so intense that I was literally confined to my sofa for nearly three weeks. Every time I moved, I bled massive blood clots.

During my initial visit to the ER, the doctor recommended an ablation. Unfortunately, my OB-GYN informed me that my fibroids were too severe for a mere ablation and recommended a hysterectomy.

While some would say I’m beyond the child bearing age, I have yet to reach menopause, and this idea of having my uterus ripped out of me was disturbing, to say the least. It’s not that my husband and I want more children, it’s just that the choice was completely made without our consent.

I plunged into a deep depression over this idea. I was totally unsure of what to do, so I told my doctor I would talk it over with my husband and get back to him. However, the bleeding intensified, and that’s when I couldn’t move. I was unable to do anything but sit still. The obvious decision was that I NEEDED a hysterectomy.

Yet, my spirit wasn’t settled on this fact. From the moment I was diagnosed, I felt the Lord reaching into my spirit and whispering, “Remember the woman with the bleeding issues? This was what she had. This is not of Me. This is not my will for any woman to bear or suffer through.”

be encouraged

The rest of the world was screaming at me, telling me how “wonderful” it was to have a hysterectomy. “It’s so common…” but it didn’t feel common to me. “It’s the best decision I ever made…” but it didn’t feel like the right thing to do to me. I knew in my heart and soul that this was a ploy of the enemy against my very womanhood. I knew it was not God’s will that the very organ that makes me a woman should be taken from me. God was telling me so clearly that I could be healed…if I only trusted him to do so.

by his stripes

After missing several weeks of church due to the bleeding, I finally decided I needed to go despite my condition. As one lady came to greet me, Tavin, my then five year old son, asked her if she would pray for me for my bleeding to stop. So she laid hands on my stomach, as did Tavin, and they prayed for me. Most of the church (it’s a very small church) knew of my situation, so at the end of the service everyone prayed for me and laid hands on me for healing.

The very next day the bleeding stopped.

Several days later I felt the Lord tell me to cancel the hysterectomy and to trust Him.

That scared me. I have trust issues. And I have major trust issues with God. I’m just being honest here. And THIS? Well, this was a HUGE leap of faith. A type of leap I’ve never taken before. But I jumped with both feet.

I told my husband my decision and why. He supported me 100%. He was worried, but we both decided that if I was wrong about this, it wasn’t the end of the world and I could always choose later to get the operation if the bleeding started again.

And it did…

When I called the doctor to cancel the operation, his nurse was highly irritated with me about it. She snidely said, “Well, when the bleeding starts again you’re going to be calling us to get it done and then you’ll have to wait another few months… Are you SURE you want to cancel?” I felt my heart pounding and my head starting to question everything God had spoken to my heart. I hesitated before I answered a resounding, “Yes, I’m sure…” And sure enough, two days later I began to bleed again.

But I stood on the Word God gave me, that He was healing me. That all I had to do was reach out to Him and the healing would be mine. So I thanked him in prayer for my healing as I mowed the lawn, cooked dinner, basically did all the things I shouldn’t have been doing. And then on the third day, on Tavin’s sixth birthday, of all days, it hit me hard. The bleeding was so intense I couldn’t move again, and I began to feel doubt creeping in and fear rising up within me. The enemy was blaming God for not healing my body. He was condemning me for being “so stupid” for cancelling the surgery. And for a very brief moment I began to believe those lies. But then something snapped in me: This is NOT God’s will for my life. He promised a healing, and a healing I SHALL receive. This is another plot of the enemy to get me to doubt my God. I will not go there. I am healed…

The next day the bleeding stopped again.

As this last menstrual cycle came, it was completely regular. I had one brief moment, while visiting my grandmother in the hospital, that the bleeding was so bad that I had to walk home with my legs practically crossed. But a few hours later, it subsided, and I was back to normal again!

I AM healed.

Healing IS mine.

“Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill his promises to her.” Luke 1:45

I have believed. I do believe. And I am truly blessed by the healing of the fibroids in my uterus. Because God’s will is not for women to be attacked this way. The first person the enemy deceived was Eve…a woman who desired to know God so intimately that she ate the forbidden fruit. And God told the serpent:

“I will make you and your brood enemies of the woman and all her children…” Genesis 3:15

Women are Satan’s arch enemies. Not men. But women. That’s why uterus fibroids and hysterectomies are so “common.” It is a clear attack on her womanhood, her body, her mind, her spirit, and her child bearing. I’ve heard horror stories of women as young as 27 who never had children and had to have a hysterectomy. I know several women who never had the choice of bearing children because of this “common” disease.

This is NOT God’s will. It is, however, a common attack on women by Satan.

If you are suffering from fibroids, stand firm in the knowledge that the enemy hates you and wants nothing more for you to feel less of a woman; but also realize and understand that God desires—so desperately desires—to heal you instead!

One of the most amazing words Jesus says in the story of the woman with the bleeding issue is… “Daughter…” Jesus called her “daughter.” (Matthew 9:22). That was our Papa speaking to her, and to me, and to you. Daughter… And He goes on to say, “BE ENCOURAGED!!! (emphasis mine) Your faith has healed you.” Jesus is telling us to be encouraged, this is not My will for your life, just reach out to Me and I will heal you…just reach out!

Will you reach out to Him? I did, and He has healed His daughter.

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